Inside Lily's Mind
by Briee
Summary: This is the story about me, Lily Evans, hater of James Potter. Not a story about him, about me... hating him... until I figure out I love him. [Retyped & Compete]


**Author's note: Okay, so I've re-typed this entire story in attempt to make it better. Hope you like it!**

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"Hey Evans! Go out with me!"

"No!"

"Evans, why don't you come to Hogsmead with me?"

"Never!"

"Evans, let's go out!"

"No!"

"Let's find a broom closet Evans!"

"Never in a million years!"

That is what most of my life at Hogwarts has been since, I guess, my 4th year.

Oh dear!

I almost forgot to introduce myself.

Lily Evans, Head Girl. If you can't find me, look for the girl with flaming red hair and green eyes.

If you still can't find me, which is highly unlikely, look for the red-headed girl who is running away from a raven-haired boy with glasses.

That boy is James Potter, prat _extrordinaire_.

He is also Head Boy.

Now I have no clue what in the world Dumbledore was on when he made the appointment, but James Potter is indeed Head Boy.

Meaning, more headache for me.

I have to sleep in the room right next to Potter's, in the Head's dorm. We also have to _share_ (notice how I'm emphasizing on the word 'share') a bathroom!

A bathroom!

Can you believe it?

I have to take extra precaution so that I don't leave anything unlocked, I have to check all the possible hiding spaces, and cast many numbers of charms so that Potter can't come in and watch me take a shower.

Everyone knows that that pig-headed pervert has this fascination, if you even want to call it that, with me.

James Potter is a big-headed, girl-entrancing, bullying toe-rag, an ego-inflated, rule-breaking, pain in the arse. Now THAT is saying something.

All the girls (except me, obviously because I would never, ever think of him like that because he's a big-headed, girl-entrancing, bullying toe-rag... ahem... sorry about that) are in love with him! I hear what they say in the loos (ladies' room for you American folks):

"James Potter is an excellent kisser!" and "I would love to snog his best friend Sirius Black!" I mean, gross! Sirius Black is one of Potter's best friends. His hair is shoulder length and has these gray eyes that entrance all the girls.

Except me, of course.

The Marauders, that's what they call themselves, are a bunch of trouble-making students. There are two more people in the lot, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. I don't know why Remus hangs with them. He's nice, he's clever, (although Black and Potter are pretty clever too -- and I would never admit that out loud) and he's not that bad looking either. He has shaggy brown hair and these gorgeous blue eyes. Remus is the one who's the sanest, and unlike James, he would never play the wolf..

Remus and I are friends; we patrolled hallways together in 6th year when we were both Prefects. I think he should have been made Head Boy, but he deliberately withdrew his name from consideration, and Dumbledore seemed to understand why. When I asked Remus the reason, he just looked hangdog and gave an unconvincing answer.

Now, Peter, well he's special. He's not very good looking, with short, mousy, blond hair and dark brown eyes. It's nothing that really draws attention, if you know what I mean; nothing that's just _out_ there. He's not clever either. I think that if Potter and the others hadn't helped him out, he'd never have passed 3rd year. He's also really short, as short as I am. I'm 5"5' whereas Potter is 5"11' and Sirius and Remus are about 5"8'. By now I'm sure you're bored with all this description stuff, so I'll get on with my tale.

See, it all started in the common room...

"Hey Lily," said a voice behind me.

"What the hell do you want," I said, frowning slightly.

"Now, now! That is not the way to talk to the Head Boy!" said the arrogant James Potter.

"I can talk to you any way I feel like." Frankly, I was getting tired of trying to be nice to him.

"Wow, Lily. You've changed. Got even more fire in ya," James said, giving me a wink. "I like it!"

I shook my head. "So what? You like me when I'm mad, you like me when I'm rude. You like me when I'm nice to you also. Make up your bloody mind so I can do the opposite!"

"Lily, I like you any which way you come," said James in what was supposed to be a seductive tone of voice, giving me the famous Potter grin.

Only problem with that, is that I don't fall for it.

But wait.

What the bloody hell was that? A bloody butterfly better not be in my stomach. It's probably just the bacon from this morning. Yeah, that's it. There was something funny with it I bet... yeah, I recall thinking that it tasted different...

"Potter, the day I go out with you is the day you stop being so childish," I said.

Oh god!

Oh my freaking god.

Did I just say I would go out with Potter under some circumstance?

No, wait! I said that I would if he changed, which is not about to happen.

James smiled. "Challenge accepted," he said in my ear, which sent an involuntary shiver down my spine. He then went up to our Head's Dorm with a giant grin on his face.

Me? Well I'm still standing here, talking to myself in my head, yelling at my slip of the tongue.

At least it didn't slip into his mouth.

Oh god!

Did I, Lily Evans, hater of James Potter, just think that?

What the hell is the world coming too?

------

Okay, it's been a month and a half that James Potter has not played one prank, hexed one student or even acted in an uncivil fashion.

Oh god.

I know what this means.

He's going to ask me out because I told him I would go out with him if he grew up.

Damn me.

Damn my brain!

Damn my slip.

Why did I say that? Why oh why did I have to say that.

Damn times a billion, trillion, gazillion! (Okay, so a gazillion isn't _really_ a number...)

James just walked in to the Head's dorm, smiling.

That is never a good sign.

"Hello, my dear Lily," he said, brightly.

"Hullo James. What do you want?" I asked, trying to match his bright tone in what I hoped was mocking.

James grinned even bigger. "Well, you said that you would go out with me if I grew up and I did. So now it's your turn to do as you promised."

I could not believe it.

Well, actually, I could, I just chose not to.

I shook my head. "A month and a half is no way near enough," I said. "Make it 3 months, then maybe I will."

I knew he wouldn't be able to.

James sort of frowned, but then smiled again.

Flutter?

What the bloody hell is that butterfly doing back?

Sigh, what did I just do?

I smiled back at him.

I tried making it like a smirk, but I'm not sure if it came out like that.

------

I can't believe it.

We're doing rounds every night together.

James (yes, we are now on a first name basis (which just suddenly happened (it was very strange...))) was standing by the window, and he turned to me and smiled.

And guess what happened... my damn knees went all weak!

I mean, why?

Am I falling for James Potter?

All those years I told him I hated him, I really loved him?

Okay, like.

I do not love James.

I do not love James.

I do love James.

I do not love...

Wait?

WHAT!

Did I just think what I think I thought?

Wow, confusing.

Ow! I just walked into a suit of armour.

"Lily are you okay?" asked James, kneeling next to me.

I didn't realize that I hit the thing until it came crashing down next to me and I screamed.

Naturally.

"I'm fine," I said, realizing that I was on the floor. James held out his hand, which I took it and this _spark_ ran through me.

I think he thought I was a lot heavier, because I practically flew into his arms when he helped me up.

He was so close to me, I could smell his aftershave (or at least that's what I think it was (it smelt good)).

I felt him come even closer.

I came to the conclusion that he was going to kiss me.

I felt my head leaning closer to him also.

It was like there was someone pushing my head, or magnets were attached to us.

I don't know.

Either one is fine with me.

But I heard something which made me jump.

I turned around, still in James's arms, but never the less turned, to find...

"Bloody hell! Mrs. Norris!" said James.

Mrs. Norris was a cat belonging to Mr. Filch. All the students thought she was a spy for the old man and they were always trying to put curses on her, but they never worked. If normal cats had nine lives, Mrs. Norris probably had ninety. A generation from now, she would probably still be spying on students.

"Filch is on his way," I said, as Mrs. Norris ran away.

James let me go and whipped out his wand. He muttered something and the pieces of the armour flew up, reassembling themselves. Walking over to the tapestry of a village on the wall closest to us, where little men and women seemed to be having a feast in the middle of town (on the tapestry, not the wall), he tapped a small circle in the corner with his wand. The tapestry opened sideways and James walked into the gap. It looked like the secret entrance to Diagon Alley, but I knew few students who knew how to do that.

"Come on Lily!" he said to me, extending his hand towards me. I rushed over and ducked inside not a moment too soon. As soon as the tapestry had closed, we heard Filch's shoes squeak.

"Where did they go?" he asked, I'm guessing, to his cat.

Who in their right mind talks to their cat?

Well, okay, most people talk to their cats, but not ask them questions they can't answer.

Filch is weird!

As Filch's shoes squeaked down the hall, I turned around only to find out that the hallway was very narrow and James's body and mine were pressed tightly together.

Even if I couldn't see his face, I could tell his perverted mind was happy.

"You okay?" he asked, his breath ticking my face.

I nodded, but realized he couldn't see me. "Yes."

Okay, now to find a way to get out of this place and very far from Potter.

I mean it; I am way too close for comfort.

I took out my wand and muttered _"Lumos"_. From the light that had erupted from my wand, I could see that James had a giant grin on his face.

"Potter, get me out of here right now," I said.

Now, if I was any one else, I would have already have had my lips glued to his face and my tongue shoved down his throat. But since I am Lily Evans, I am angry.

Sure, Potter saved me from getting in trouble, but I am way too close to him.

Knowing him, he might have x-ray lenses in his glasses. Or did wizards know about x-rays? That was a Muggle thing.

"Anything you want, Lily, love," he said.

I almost gagged. "What did you just call me?" I asked, confused and hopeful that I had heard wrong.

"I called you Lily," he said, clearly amused by this game.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes. "Just get me out of here."

"Methinks the Lily doth protest too much."

"I'm protesting by precisely the right amount."

Not that I wasn't comfortable or anything, James's body is all nice and warm, but it's just that he's, well... James Potter!

He nodded and shifted so that our bodies were not pressed together. He led me down a hallway, tapping on something that was on the wall with his wand.

A gap in the wall, similar to the one in the tapestry, this time leading us into a different hallway than the one we escaped from. The stones that made up the door meshed with the others that were part of the wall. After the door had silently closed, I couldn't tell where the entrance was anymore.

I looked up and the picture of the fat, bald man was right there.

"Hey! How did you do that?" I asked.

Sure, I was surprised to find myself in front of the Head's dorm picture, but we had been on the opposite end of the school!

"Marauders secret. If I tell you, you'll have to kiss me, I mean... I'll have to kill you, but I couldn't live with out seeing you everyday," said James.

I rolled my eyes and gave the man the password, going straight to bed.

-----

Okay, so it's been another week in which I have to say that James Potter has kept up his bargain. I'm actually worried I might have to go out with him. I must find a way to get him to play a prank or hex someone. That way, he'll break his promise and I won't have to go out with him.

If he keeps this up for one more month, I'm doomed!

----

Oh no!

Why did McGonagal leave the classroom?

Sure she's 'just outside' but hasn't she heard of a silencing charm?

I mean really!

When you leave the class unattended with the Marauders in it, you're looking for trouble.

Sirius just stole James's wand and is making his quill move around on the floor, so obviously, James has to pick it up.

Look away Lily, look away!

Damn eyes MOVE!

Why won't my eyes move!

HELP!

I hear my friends laughing and my eyes seem to move, snapping away from the torrid - I mean horrid - view of James' arse.

Wait, they're laughing at me!

Oh god!

Help me!

Wait... they're not laughing at me...

Phew!

For a moment there, I thought I would have to endure taunting about me looking at James Potter's bum!

Ew, that's not something I want.

Good god!

James now is jumping up and down to get his quill, which has started flying around in circles. He can catch a stupid snitch that's very tiny (like his brain... see, I can be mean!) but he can't catch a quill.

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

Why?

Not because of James and Sirius but because McGonagall is in the class and is sending daggers (not literally) towards James and Sirius with her eyes!

HAHAHAHA... (evil laugh!) Cough cough... I'll stop now...

Sir-ius got de-ten-tion (since you're just reading this, I am telling you that I just thought that in a sing-song sort of voice)!

------

3 months.

3 bloody months.

He did it.

I cannot believe that arrogant son of a bitch made it.

It's not fair.

Damn him!

Damn my brain!

Damn this world!

I have to go out with Potter.

----

"So Lily, were do you want to go?"

"How about Honeydukes?" I suggested.

Believe me, I do not want to be with James Potter on what Americans call a _date_, but unfortunately, I have to. So far, though, he's been nothing but a gentleman.

I can't complain.

"Sure! I could use some sweets," he said. He opened the door for me and I walked in, thanking him.

I walked around the store, my mouth watering at all the yummy sights. Gummies, lollies, chocolate, sugar coated candies and fruits, and everything else you could ever crave. I walked over to the chocolate section and picked up a bar of chocolate.

"Okay, I got what I wanted," I said, walking back to the counter where James was.

He looked at me in surprised. "That's it? That's it?" he asked, his voice raising slightly.

I looked at him like he was crazy. "Yes, that's it. Unlike you, I can't eat 5 chocolate bars and not gain a single pound."

"Well there are ways for you to lose pounds, that could involve two people."

I looked at him with pure disgust. "You better not be thinking about me and you in a bed."

Ew. Now THAT will never happen.

But wait...

Didn't I say that I would never go on a date with Potter, and yet here I am, on a date with him???

"No! That's not what I was thinking, but it would be nice..." he said, but stopped seeing the look on my face. I was going to slap him but he quickly corrected himself. " to lose the pounds. Oh, I know. Quidditch!. I could play some with you. That's how I got into shape and how I can eat four tonnes of sweets."

Lucky bastard.

"You better have meant that," I said.

Good, some boys are just... wait. Potter didn't say it. He said it would be nice, but what boy would say he wouldn't want to.

An abnormal one.

"So Lily, go get a few more bars of chocolate and we'll burn it off on the pitch later," he said.

Damn him and his persuasive ways. Damn my love for chocolate.

------

"Ready?" he asked. I nodded, feeling like I was about to fall. "Okay, try to catch me. I'll go slow."

Slow? When has James Potter ever gone slow? He rushes through women, homework, schoolwork and Quidditch.

Come on broom!

Catch him!

Catch his broom!

Damn broom goes too slow!

Before discovering that I was a witch I learned to ride horses, and I retained some of the Muggle habits in spite of some of the differences between brooms and animals. For one thing, horses can't go in three dimensions.

"Lily, you have to relax," James yelled.

"I'm trying!" I yelled back to him.

Deep breath. Inhale... exhale...

GO!

My broom suddenly zoomed forward, almost throwing me off.

James dove and I followed. I was not too far from him. I could nearly catch him...

Suddenly, I felt cold air whoosh beneath me and I fell on the soft grass.

I can hear James laughing at me.

Wait... James is hovering over me and he's not laughing.

Dear god!

I'm laughing!

What the hell? Why am I laughing?

"Lily are you okay?" he asked.

"Fine!" I said, laughing even harder.

He stuck out his hand to me, the laughing imbecile on the ground. I tried pulling myself up, but instead, James came tumbling off his broom and fell on top of me.

He started laughing too.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked in between laughs, tears streaming from my eyes.

"I'm laughing because you're laughing," he said. James's body was surprisingly not heavy on top of mine.

Butterflies were tripling in my stomach and quadrupling by the second. "Are you going to kiss me or not?" I found myself saying.

James smiled, leaned down and gave me a kiss I will never forget.

The world is coming to an end!

I, Lily Evans, was kissing my sworn enemy, James Potter.

And to top it all off, I was thoroughly enjoying it.

The End

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**Author's note: Like? Hate? Thanks to CharlesTheBold for beta!**


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